Another week

Almost another week has already gone by since our last post... Amryn will be six weeks old already this week. Since last Tuesday Amryn has been getting weaker but is still stable. She still vomits after her meds, which makes us wonder if we should bother with them. Her stomach seems to disagree that she needs them! Thanks to a comment/suggestion left on our last blog, we have tried lying her on her stomach and she seems to like it. She just has no head or neck control, so if she wants to turn her head to see us, she gets quite cranky. Her breathing seems to have changed as well. When she is asleep, she breathes slowly and steadily, but when she wakes up, its like she can't catch her breath and panicks. She gasps for air and seems to struggle (maybe from the tube in the back of her throat?) but once she catches her breath she is ok again. I find this very difficult to watch, however.

She still has lots of times of alertness where she looks at us and even tries to "talk" a bit with coos. It is harder to get her to smile, but they are still there sometimes! I love that. I also love the fact that she adores being held. She is still like a newborn, all warm and snuggly, wrapped tightly in her blanket. She loves to snuggle and hates to be put down. She loves skin to skin contact and will complain if she doesn't feel a warm body next to her! This means spending a lot of time in our arms, but life is standing still for us anyway, so we have the time. It's a blessing that Amryn has caused us to stop and enjoy precious time with her, in the midst of the busiest season of the year! Our priorities have definitely changed.

Robyn has been sick from school twice with an ear infection and cough, and the doctor called me this morning to tell me that I tested positive for Strep throat... I've had a sore throat since our hospital stay with Amryn, and only just a few days ago saw the doctor for it... no wonder I have been feeling so run down! I just hope Amryn doesn't get my strep throat. They say that breastfed babies are more immune, so I keep pumping away... I also learned a very interesting fact the other day- if babies inhale formula into their lungs their body can't handle it and will react to it like its a foreign object. But if breastfed babies inhale a bit of breastmilk into their lungs, their bodies miraculously absorb it! Amazing!!
This past week we had quite a few visitors. My midwife stopped by, some care coordinators, a few ladies from the church, the minister, our deacons, our public health nurse, etc.. We have been blessed with being surrounded with so many people who share our faith. We discovered that our pediatrician is a Christian and has been praying for us. Our midwife is a Christian and has her whole church community keeping us in their prayers. Then, after meeting my public health nurse, I discovered she too is a Christian!
One thing all our visitors have in common is that they find it very hard to put Amryn down once they are holding her! I start to miss her, however, so eventually they have to give her back... My Mom thinks that because we know that Amryn will soon be in Heaven, holding her is like holding a little bit of Heaven in our arms.

On Sunday morning we took Amryn to church. We have joined a program that supplies respite nurses, and requested that one come on Sunday mornings so we can go to church together, but there is a nursing shortage and they were unable to set us up with one yet. Perhaps next week. Taking her didn't go very well- the plan was that she would join us in the sanctuary, since she would most likely sleep the whole time... but she had other plans...I ended up sitting in the consistory room with her and watched the service through the windows. She was wide awake the whole time!

Tomorrow we will start to get a respite nurse for one night a week. Amryn is a night owl, and is either really cranky or lies awake staring at me for hours on end! And with the extra care she requires (and my nervousness about her choking) the result is that I don't get much sleep. Some ladies in the church have been taking Lydia for playdates so that I can nap, and that is helping a lot (thank you!!!) but we thought that if we could get at least one night a week of sleep, we will cope much better during the day. I still will have to wake up every three hours to nurse, but that's just the joy of being Mom to a newborn! (: I'm not sure how I'll like having a stranger sitting in the living room with my precious sweetie, and I'm not even sure I'll be able to sleep without her beside me, but it is worth a try for our own sanity...

We are still taking things day by day. Emotions are still all over the place... but today was a good day (I tend to blog when its a good day...that can be your indication of how I'm feeling at the moment) and we are still asking God for healing.

Amryn is awake in my arms and up till now was just watching the screen, but is getting bored and looking at me for attention with those big blue eyes!! So I better stop typing. Just the other day we noticed that her eyelashes are really long now and curl up at the sides! Very pretty!

I'll end this post with some photos. Last Friday we went to Williams park to drive through their light display. The girls loved it, and Robyn took tons of photos. This second one was taken through the entrance while Nick sped through- a neat effect!



Lydia and her "favourite baby sister" She says this to anyone who listens, and says "I LOVE my baby sister" "she is sooooo cute!" constantly throughout the day.